Surgeon General addresses growing stress and mental health struggles facing parents

As most parents will attest, raising children can be challenging. But today, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued an advisory, saying it’s even more difficult now and it’s time to recognize the stress and mental health toll associated with parenting is a serious public health concern for the country. Geoff Bennett spoke with Dr. Murthy about his concerns and recommendations.
Geoff Bennett:
As most parents can attest, raising children can be challenging.
But, today, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory, saying it’s even more difficult now and it’s time to recognize the stress and mental health toll associated with parenting is a serious public health concern for the kids.
The surgeon general joins us now to talk about his concerns and his recommendations.
It’s so great to have you here. Welcome back to the “News Hour.”
Dr. Vivek Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General:
Well, thank you so much, Geoff.
Geoff Bennett:
So there is a baseline level of stress and worry that comes alongside the many joys of parenting, but what’s different about the kinds of stress that you — that you’re warning about now?
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
Well parenting has always been challenging.
And, to be clear — and I say this is a parent myself — parenting is full of joy and meaning and purpose, but it also can be quite stressful. And I have experienced that a lot myself as a parent.
What really struck me as I was doing work on youth mental health and talking to families around the country was recognizing how many parents were struggling as well. And as I dug into the data around this, I found that 48 percent, nearly half of parents are saying that most days they feel completely overwhelmed by stress.
Now, that is an extraordinary number that should raise alarms for all of us. The other thing that’s important to recognize is, parents are also struggling with disproportionate levels of loneliness and isolation. So about 65 percent of parents say that they’re lonely. And that includes actually over 75 percent of single parents.
And stress is tough on its own. When you compound it with loneliness, it can really take a toll on the mental health and well-being of parents.
Geoff Bennett:
So, what are the specific stressors? What are the challenges that this generation of parents are facing in particular?
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
So, thy — some of the traditional ones that all generations have faced, worrying about a kid’s safety, worrying about how to manage the teenage years, which aren’t easy, and financial worries as well.
But there are some new ones that this generation is contending with that my parents, for example, didn’t have to deal with. How do you manage social media and phones? How do you manage the mental health crisis that kids are facing in terms of depression and anxiety, as well as the loneliness epidemic that’s hit kids particularly hard?
We’re also hearing that the scourge of gun violence is particularly affecting kids, as well as their parents. More than half of our children are worried about a school shooting taking place. But you compound all of this, Geoff, with the fact that we are living in a time where the culture of comparison has become intensified, particularly by social media.
And so parents are looking online. They’re seeing parents who to their eye have perfect lives, who aren’t struggling with any of the challenges they’re dealing with, and they’re feeling even more inadequate about their life.
Geoff Bennett:
You mentioned how the mental health of parents and caregivers is inextricably linked to the mental health of children. What are the implications?
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
Well, if we want to address the youth mental health crisis in America, part of that has to involve supporting parents.
When parents struggle with their mental health, that has negative implications on the mental health of kids. And all of us have a vested interest in ensuring that kids are well. They are the future of society. And so the work of parenting is directly linked to the future of society.
It’s why we all have an interest in investing in parental well-being.
Geoff Bennett:
How much of this is tied to the pandemic and the way that we live now, where there’s such a blending for a lot of people between work life and home life?
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
Well, I think the pandemic certainly created an increase in stress in many parents’ lives.
I so viscerally remember what it was like to have to homeschool our kids during that time, on top of work, and how challenging all of that was. And I think we’re still living with some of the after-effects of that stress.
But the pandemic also changed how we live our lives. I think, in some ways, being able to do hybrid work was helpful for some parents, as it gave them the flexibility to be able to be there for meal times, for example, at dinner, or being able to be there to pick up their kids, or be there during the day if their child needed something.
But I think being available all the time, maybe via video or whatever remote means, maybe your choice, that also creates additional stresses for parents because it can create this expectation that you’re available all the time.
And so one of the things that’s really important in the workplace is to have a culture where we — leaders understand what the stresses are that parents are managing, where they have policies that support parents, like predictable schedules, so that parents can schedule and balance work and home, and where there’s also some degree of flexibility so that if issues come up, like a sick child, a parent has the ability to respond in that scenario and care for their family without worrying that they’re going to suffer at work.
Geoff Bennett:
What are some other big picture recommendations to address this crippling level of stress that so many parents face?
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
So, fundamentally, we need a culture shift in how we value parenting. We need to see parenting for what it is, which is essential for the well-being of society.
And we have to use that shift to then power change in three areas, in policies, in programs, and in individual practices. We talked actually a little bit about programs. These are some things that workplaces can do differently. And health care systems can also focus more on screening parents in particular for mental health struggles.
But when — at a policy level, we have got to do a lot more there. We have got to invest in paid leave, so parents can be with a child who’s sick, for example. We have got to make childcare more affordable, make mental health care more accessible, and address the harms of social media, which is a major worry for parents, who are navigating much of that on their own.
But, finally, I don’t want people to lose sight of what we can do as individuals, because the truth is, all of us have parents in our life. Most of us do. And when we reach out to those parents, when we help them with basic errands, when they — when we offer to just babysit their kids even for 15 or 20 minutes, so they can just sit down and take a breath or take a shower or get a meal, those are incredibly important moments, where we not only provide assistance, but we remind parents that they aren’t alone.
The truth is, parenting is and has always really been a team sport. It’s only in relatively recent years that we have come to put this pressure on parents where they feel that they have got to do all of it by themselves; otherwise, they’re failing as parents.
And the truth is, we need each other. We need fellow parents. We need friends. We need family. We need neighborhoods and communities that support parenting. And if we do, then kids, parents and all of us will be better off.
Geoff Bennett:
Parenting is a team sport, is what I hear you saying.
(Laughter)
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Geoff Bennett:
U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, thanks so much for being here.
Dr. Vivek Murthy:
Thanks so much, Geoff.